Realisations
by aarrimas
Summary: For once they decided to just forget about the troubles that threatened to ruin everything they loved and to love the things they still had, cause who how long they had left in the end. For the HPFC Hunger Games Competition.


Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters that appear in this story and anything you recognise probably doesn't belong to me.

 **For the HPFC Hunger Games Competition using the prompts word, pairing, setting, genre and weapon.**

 _All good love stories start with a realisation. A moment where the main character finally realises that they are in love. A moment where they realise just how much they would do to be with the one they care about most. Parvati's story didn't start any different, in fact looking back it was kinda basic. But that didn't make it any less valid or important. In fact to Parvati it was the story of her life that mattered most. She just wished the ending was a little less tragic._

* * *

It was midnight but Parvati wouldn't dare shut her eyes, not even for a moment. Instead she glanced at the empty space beside her, wondering when _she_ would return. All she could do was hope it would be soon, Parvati could only wait for so long.

The doors swung open and Parvati jumped upright in anticipation. _Was it her? Was she finally back?_

Parvati glanced around frantically, searching for a sign that she was somewhere nearby. Then she finally saw her. She was standing in the corner of the room, leaning on the wall for some extra support. She was a lot more bruised up than the last time she saw her and Parvati's eyes couldn't help but soften in pity. _How had she let this happen?_

Lavender was scanning the room too, her face set in a scowl and her body tense. It didn't take her long for her to notice Parvati though, who was still staring at Lavender as if her life depended on it. Lavender smiled as widely as she could and hobbled over to where Parvati was sitting.

"Lav! Are you okay? What happened? Why'd you take so long?" Parvati whispered, her voice hysterical as she inspected Lavender's injuries for a sign of permanent damage.

Lavender dismissed Parvati's concerns with a simple wave of her hand before sitting beside her. She didn't have time for all of these questions and inquiries, all of which required answers that she wasn't quite ready to give. All she wanted was to get some rest, to just close her eyes and forget. She could deal with the ramifications of today later, the later the better actually.

But as she looked at Parvati and saw the worry and stress that she had caused, she knew that she had to talk to her and tell her what had happened. She had to tell her now. After all this was her fault. No matter how unfair this all was and no matter how much she wished things were different, they weren't and she just had to deal. She had to relive the events of today, for Parvati's sake.

* * *

 _It was muggle studies and Alecto Carrow was not in a good mood. Not that she ever was, but today it was particularly bad. She was ranting on and on, but what about no one really knew. All they had heard was snippets about 'mudbloods' and 'purity' and 'the Dark Lord's wishes' but none of it really fit together. The more she vented, the angrier she seemed to get. Everyone was on edge, waiting for the explosion that was bound to come. They all just hoped that they wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions._

 _But as they waited and waited nothing happened. She was now completely calm. It didn't really make any sense. But then as she turned to the class, a massive grin planted on her face, everything clicked._

 _Something bad was about to happen._

" _Patil stand up," she demanded, her voice firm and full of control._

" _Which one?" Padma asked, a quiver in her voice as she glanced nervously at Parvati, who looked equally as scared._

" _I don't really care which one, just one of you jump up and come stand in front of the class. Now."_

 _There was a moment of silence, a moment where nothing happened and nobody spoke. The tension in the room rose. Everyone was worried, but no one more than Lavender. Carrow had decided that someone was going to get hurt by the end of this lesson and chances are it would be Parvati. Lavender could only hope that Carrow would pick on someone else, or better yet forget completely. But the chances of either of those outcomes coming true were extremely unlikely._

 _Alecto rolled her eyes in anguish and looked as if she was about to lose her temper once again. The whole class held their breath, everyone ready for the outburst to begin again._

 _Except it never did. Cause someone had finally stood up and was walking towards the front._

 _Lavender felt her stomach drop and her breathing start to become shaky. Because before she had even looked up, she knew exactly who it was. There was only one person stupid enough to act like this, to do something this idiotically brave. Parvati, always wanting to prove herself, always ready to make the sacrifice no one else would._

 _Lavender's eyes widened and her heart pounded loud in her ears. What if she got hurt? What would happen then?_

 _Lavender knew that if anything was to happen to Parvati she would never forgive herself. Because even if it was completely out of her control, they were best friends. And that meant protecting each other no matter what, especially from teachers with cruel and psychotic tendencies._

 _When Parvati reached the front of the classroom, her eyes were blank and her were shoulders hunched with despair. Lavender could've sworn she felt her heart break right then and there, cause her beautiful best friend whose heart was always full of hope and trust was finally breaking. Alecto grinned and yanked her wand from her pocket with unnecessary force, she placed it in front of Parvati menacingly and Lavender felt her body surge with anger. How was she just watching this? Why wasn't she doing anything? Why didn't she stop this?_

 _But every time she went to stand and prevent this all from happening, she just couldn't. She was frozen, nothing was working and no matter how many scenarios she imagined where she saved Parvati and stopped Carrow it never came to life. Cause she wasn't brave, not like Parvati was._

 _Parvati didn't even flinch when she was handed the wand, all she did was grab it and twist it around in her palm. Any outsider could glance at Parvati and think that she was perfectly calm but Lavender, who had known her for nearly six years now, knew a whole lot better. She could tell that Parvati was nervous, extremely so, but she was also very determined. Lavender wasn't sure which one scared her more._

" _Patil, pick someone."_

 _Parvati shook her head defiantly and Lavender clenched her teeth in apprehension. You didn't say no to the Carrows without consequences and the consequences were never pretty. Lavender turned her head to glance at Alecto in an effort to predict what was gonna happen next._

" _Fine, I'll choose for you. Brown, get up here now."_

 _Fuck. Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck. Lavender stood up, her hands trembling and her legs weak. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. Lavender was cautious; she didn't cause waves in class, she didn't talk back to teachers, she was just invisible. Why on earth was this happening?_

 _She reached the front of the classroom and stood next to Parvati. They were close together, huddled up as if it would stop whatever was going to happen next. Lavender's breath started to quicken as Carrow took a few steps closer. What was going to happen? What was she going to do?_

 _Her vision was starting to blur and she felt as if she was going to faint. What would happen to Parvati? What would happen to her? Her head started to pound as more questions started to form. Nothing was making sense at all and all she wanted to do was go home and sleep and what was the point in living anymore if life was going to be this crap and maybe she should just die and maybe everything would be better off and-._

 _All of a sudden Parvati grabbed Lavender's hand, her slender fingers providing stability to Lavender's trembling ones. And then before she knew it everything stopped._

* * *

Parvati just stared into space as Lavender spoke, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if it would make the guilt that was bubbling around in her stomach disappear. It didn't of course, that would be way too easy.

"After what happened in class Carrow thought that the best way to 'teach me a lesson' would be to bring out the **whip** , that's how I ended up with all these welts. It wasn't too painful to be honest though, I mean obviously it hurt but not as much as I thought it would. In comparison to everything else that they've done I don't think it was actually that bad."

Parvati couldn't believe what Lavender was saying, _it wasn't that bad?_ That was bullshit and they both knew it. Just by looking at Lavender she could tell that she was in pain, every time she took a breath she winced slightly and her left eye was almost swollen shut. There was no way she was okay and Parvati wasn't sure why she was pretending she was.

"I guess I got off lucky, I mean I'm sure she was tempted to do more but I was still kinda out of it. I still can't believe it, how on earth do I manage to _faint_ in her class. Like how stupid was that? I-."

"Just stop Lav," said Parvati, her eyes shut tight as she pinched her nose in frustration.

When Parvati thought about what the standard was for being okay, the situation they were in didn't even come close. After all they had been forced into hiding in the **Room of Requirement** by their very own teachers. The people that were supposed to protect them from harm had turned into the people that were causing them harm and that certainly wasn't okay. There was nothing okay about any of this actually, nothing at all. This year had turned out to be a complete nightmare and it wasn't doing Lavender any good by pretending everything was normal.

Lavender sighed, her cheery mask disintegrating right in front of Parvati's eyes and instead being replaced by an expression that could only be explained by one word. Hopelessness. A word that represented how pretty much everyone felt.

Parvati sighed, seventh year was supposed to be fun, maybe a little stressful but still nowhere near as traumatic as this year was turning out to be. They weren't even legally adults yet, so while they were still too young to drink it was perfectly fine for them to contemplating how they were going to fight a war.

Parvati and Lavender's eyes met, both of them exhausted from a mixture of lack of sleep and too much thinking. They didn't talk instead Lavender just leaned forward and her head on Parvati's right shoulder before closing her eyes.

For a while neither of them moved a muscle, both too comfortable and relaxed to even think about disrupting the peace. Today had been super shitty and extremely tiring and they didn't have the time or energy to think or stress or worry about what was going to happen next. Instead they focused on the now, on the way their chest rose and fell at the same time, on the way their bodies fit perfectly together like a jigsaw puzzle and on the way it all felt. Instead of focusing on the stuff that they couldn't control they decided to just focus on each other.

It was times like these that made Parvati think that everything was gonna be okay. Because the world couldn't be completely shit if Lavender could still make her feel like this. After everything that has happened in the past few months, if her touch could still calm her and make all of her worries and doubts disappear then maybe winning this war wasn't as farfetched as it seemed. Maybe they could have a future, a live afterwards and maybe their happy ever after could be together, as more than just friends.

But as Parvati looked down at Lavender's resting body all of the hope that had just been built up shattered into a million pieces. She realised just how **impossible** it all was. She realised their relationship wasn't destined to develop from anything further than being best friends and she realised that it was never gonna be enough for her. That her heart would always desire for more, for something that Lavender just couldn't give her.

Lavender was the love of her life, Parvati was almost sure of it. There was nothing better in this world for Parvati other than Lavender, that was the truth. But as she started to become more aware of that fact and started to realise just how true it was, it started to make her heart ache. Because if the greatest love story she was ever gonna get was with her straight best friend then her life must be destined to be pretty loveless and empty.

* * *

Parvati had always imagined that her love story was gonna be epic; filled with beautiful girls with beautiful personalities and beautiful hearts. And sometimes they would break up with her and sometimes she broke up with them, but no matter how it happened she always learnt a lesson. Maybe she learnt how to be a better lover or how to be more amicable or when to give up and when to remain stubborn. Either way though she ended up being very knowledgeable when it came to matters of the heart, so much so that when she met _the girl,_ the one that was her soulmate, they would fall in love instantly and would start their happily ever after together straight away. Except now Parvati knew better, there was only one beautiful girl for her and that beautiful girl was very uninterested and it kinda sucked.

Deep down though she still knew, knew that even though friendship with Lavender would always gonna be less than what she wanted and that an unrequited love story was all she was gonna get, she wouldn't change a single thing.

Cause it was Lavender. And a Parvati without a Lavender wasn't a Parvati worth knowing.

The events of today had only further proven that to her. As she worried and worried about what was gonna happen and tried to predict what the outcomes would be, she discovered a world inside her head where Lavender was gone and Parvati was left alone and it wasn't somewhere she enjoyed being. It had made her realise just how much she loved her.

Without Lavender who would she talk to? Who would she turn to when she was scared or lonely or sad? Who would she tell her secrets to? Who would be there for her? Who would she love? The answer to all of those questions was no one, because if Lavender was gone there would be no one else. And that's why she can't tell her. She can never tell Lavender how she really feels because losing Lavender wasn't worth setting the weight that rested on her shoulders free.

So while she was destined to a life with little love and always feeling as if something was missing, at least Lavender would always be by her side. At least she would always have Lavender. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

 _As it turns out, Lavender wouldn't always be by her side. In fact, she would be leaving it a lot sooner than either of them expected. Parvati would always regret never telling Lavender the truth, especially when Seamus later revealed to her that Lavender had felt the same._

 _She was right about one thing though, Lavender was the love of her life. And even though it ended rather quickly without ever really starting in the first place she was glad it happened. Because a Parvati without a Lavender wasn't a Parvati worth knowing, and Parvati was a much better person for loving Lavender._


End file.
